Dealing with Disappointment

How are you dealing with disappointment?

Leading in today’s competitive business market requires thinking and reaching beyond the norm. It requires leaders that give and gather the best: intellect, passion and commitment. Leaders know that they can’t achieve desired results without the engagement of others.

We require vendors to fulfill contracts as agreed. We need co-workers to complete assignments and meet deadlines. We anticipate partners will do their fair share. However, sometimes people fail to do so. Let downs occur. Expectations are unmet.

Great leaders have often told me that some of their best improvements and growth have resulted from a response to a disappointment. As painful as they may be, disappointments can be invaluable tools for lessons learned and wisdom gained. The critical question is how to deal with disappointments when they occur.

The Sources of Disappointment

While leaders are in a position to enjoy various kinds of success, they are also subject to disappointment from several areas of work life. Setbacks may be caused by factors that seem to be out of their control. However, patterns and avoidable issues need to be addressed.

Some disappointments come from your people. You counted on them and they let you down. A deadline was missed, an action item was not pursued or a possible solution not considered. Disappointment can turn to resentment if your people indicate apathy toward the misfortune.

When this topic comes up with my coaching clients, I remind them that most employees will feel bad about disappointing their leader. It was not their intention. Be mindful of the fact that although you may bear the brunt of the disappointment, your people are often disappointed in themselves.

Other disappointments come to you through the company or its upper management. You may have been passed up for a promotion, denied the requested resources to accomplish a goal or given news that the company won’t be pursuing what looked like a promising venture.

These are not unlike the disappointments you may cause your people. They experience the same types of letdowns, often as the result of your decisions. What could you have done differently? Change what you can, and accept what you can’t.  Practice self-compassion, and avoid self-pity.

The best leaders recognize that there are a number of ways they can bear the responsibility for disappointing their employees.  Leaders can unknowingly let their people down by:

  • Communicating insufficiently
  • Not providing proper training or resources to get the job done
  • Making poor or uninformed decisions
  • Insufficient project management or follow-up
  • Having poor people skills
  • Behaving in ways that demotivate or disengage
  • Not having the technical ability to solve problems

Smart leaders take steps to raise the bar on their leadership. What about you?

How are you dealing with disappointment? I’d love to hear from you. You can reach me here and on LinkedIn.